Absolutely; maybe; no.

I find myself in a situation of emotional conflict. An internal war between pride and love. How cheesy that must sound. Regardless, it's an issue I must deal with as I'm sure millions before me have done so in the past. I choose to write about it as I feel a need to vent my thoughts and frustrations. How far should a person go for their own convictions? And more importantly how much should one risk for the sake of pride? How do you calculate one's measure of love against one's thirst to be morally in the right? There should be a formula for these things. Does that even make sense? Personally if it were my way, we'd all be calculated robots without the need for spontaneous and irrational emotions. Or would I?

CARDINAL HINSLEY DAYS.

Gone are the days when a bell ring at 3 o'clock in the afternoon would put a smile on my face. I remember them well. That's it. Home time. Meet up with the homies, play computer games and laugh endlesly about each other or any stupid thing we could think of. High school meant care free days and hours and hours of laughter with friends!

These days, well we all know what it's about; work, money, socialise, sleep, work, so on and so on. It's hard to find the kid in you nowadays. Of course in the end we all grow up and life thrusts us into what most would call "The real world." A world of responsibilty and tough choices. We all deal with it differently and in the long run things get better. Eventually people find a career, own a house, have a family, and behold the circle of life. And I believe that........... but enough blahdy blahdy blah! Sometimes it's so good to let go and just be a kid again. Actually more of a teenager again. (as a kid you were never really allowed out.)

I planned to go to a Brazilian festival the other day. Was all geared up for it. New camera at the ready and all. And as I was getting ready, a good mate of mine called to see what I was up to. "I'm goin to this festival in a little while." I said. "Ok i'll pop round still." was the reply. Very quick conversation. "Great we can both go and watch scantily clad women do the samba." I thought to myself. Good ol' Ben. Couple of minutes later at about 3 o'clock, my bell rings. Turns out good ol' Ben was with another old mate and had decided to go to a mall bout 2 miles away and I was asked to come. GREAT! (sarcasticaly) I'm out numbered 2/1, but i wasn't upset these two didn't care about my plans to see fit South American ladies shake their assets. I decided not to persuade them and just tag along. And so we went.

A couple of hours later we were back at my house, another old mate turned up. There we were in the living room eating pizza around the tv and the xbox. Talking and laughing about stupid things, like who can take a better picture, or "do you remember in high school........." this and that. It was good to know that these guys from high school; now all 6 foot n over with steady jobs and resposibilties still have that lively spirit (bateness) which brought us all together at the ages of 12 and 13.

Adulthood forces us to change and try to plan everything, from jobs and day to day activities. But I remember that sometimes having no plan, or having to abandon those plans can very well lead to something more fun. I guess everyone has to act like a kid once in a while. And if you're struggling to find the teenager in you, I found that if you add old friends, some Krispy Kremes, Haribos and some Soul Calibur it might just do the trick.