It's hot as hell outside. Yet I find myself in denim, a long sleeved jersey and a thin jacket. In my shoulder bag, a pair of steel blades that I've not wielded in what seems an age. I walk through a crowded street. One I've walked hundreds of times before... But not recently, not since that horrid day.
A lady in her skirt flaunts by, we share a smile. Another glance; focus Jose. Remember why you're here. To my left, the laughter of teens. A drop of rain hits my cheek? It can't be, the sun is strong and not a cloud in sight. I look left... Pesky teens. I shouldn't really, I'm partial to a water fight myself.
As I get closer to my destination I recall the joy and excitement I used to feel walking this road. Queensway hasn't changed much. Busy, hectic, a collage of faces, never remembered. There's the kebab shop. there's another Filipino porter outside the casino. I smirk. Those were good days.
A guy on his rollerblades brushes past my shoulder. He nods his head and lifts his right hand. Apology accepted, it happens. That encounter reminds me completely of what lies before me.
I arrive. A short walk that felt like miles. I enter my destination......... Damn it!!!!... there's the door they wheeled me out through the last time. It brings a shudder through my right collar. It's fine, that was a long time ago. You're over it! Keep telling yourself that.
The arena's slightly different. I notice the smallest of changes. This used to be my playground; so yes... I notice. There is however, a constant in here; one thing they can't change. As i look through the glass and at the oval crystal floor; I see them........ noobs. Unknowingly frolicking in a ground, tainted with the sorrow of countless victims..... my pain. The ground on which they traverse has never changed. This ice, does not shift. It does not crack to soften the cold blow of falling. And you will falter. It will down you as it did me. Though the jagged edges and scars of the fallen are removed. Purified by a behemoth-like machine, as silent as the ground it cleanses. Smooth, crisp and splendid to the eye..... I am not fooled. I know the damage it can dish, and served cold it does.
It's first victim. How could it? She's just a child. But I'm not surprised. Poor thing. That arm's out for at least 3 months. No amount of ice is gonna make that feel better.... what irony. it was inevitable. She'll never come back. I don't think she's strong enough to face it again. Hardly anyone can.
Is that fear creeping in me? Was that it's way of taunting me? I can't let it get to my head. I'm back to claim my ground. It hasn't conquered me. Focus. Keep telling yourself that?
I draw my blades from their cover. Alike to the samurai naming it's blade as it were forged with the soul of its maker, mine were called "Bauers". These blades would be my strength. As one with me, i could not fail my quest to conquer that which conquered me.
Bauers hasn't been on the ice much since my falling. Yet I'm calm. I lace up my aggresives, these blades ain't too sharp, not a good start, slight rust on the edges. I step into an icy ring. It's all come back instantly, I know this. This feels right. Don't get carried away.... get a better feel for it again. Cockyness led to your demise the last time....... Not this time. Take my time, it's a cagey start. For a while I just dance around. Backwards...easy. The pace is picking up. Really picking up. It's time. I'm going for it. Now........ Go for it. Breathing cold, crossover, a sharp turn................near miss, glad I learnt that spread-eagle, the grapevine, sweet, here it comes.... one footed brake. Hurt as hell the last time, not gona happen again. FUCK IT! One foot it is....................................................................................... A sudden stop, a breath of smoke... snow flakes in front of me. Relief. I still got it. Same spot. My fear is now frozen.
(all this shit to say I had fun skating again. I just wanted it to sound theatrical because the last time I went I fucked up and smashed my collar bone in three places. I may have gone over the top slightly. Ben you know this is probably the batest shit you're gona read this year. Hope you enjoyed it bareface. Skating again on monday yeah? Wicked.)
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